Facing personal fears can be really traumatic for some people. Whether it is being afraid of heights, fires, spiders or airplanes... whatever - a fear is a fear is a fear.
I'm a good bluffer. For those that don't know me well, I'm happy to put on a smiley face and never act like my #1 fear is right there in front of you and me. In fact, I've done that with many of you throughout the years.
There's no trigger that I can remember. Nothing that made me afraid. I just remember always being a little apprehensive, and the bigger the "task," the more fear I had...
"What's she talking about?" you ask. Simple, every day thing - water. I am terrified to be under water. Terrified. The only time I don't really think about it is when I'm jumping off of something in the water - no fear there. Don't know. Don't get it. But I do live.
And I have faced this TWO TIMES this week - head on - when I decided to go swimming for exercise. I get SO bored doing the elliptical or just running or just walking or just doing Taebo or whatever... so I am trying to mix it up a little and treat my body to some low-impact stuff that it will appreciate in years to come by swimming.
There I was (braving a swimsuit was quite a feat to begin with, I might add!) - Hop in. Check. Put on goggles. Check. Deep breath. Check. Start swimming freestyle. WHOA! Something about my face being under and not being able to breathe when I start panicking just freaks me OUT. Major. So, I kept up for about 30 more minutes doing all the strokes that involve my head being out of water - back stroke, crawl, and my favorite, the breaststroke. Does that count as meeting my fear? Even if my face wasn't submerged? I'm hoping so because I was proud of myself at the end of my time!
I know, it's a silly fear! but it's my fear. What's your big fear? Is there something that makes you cringe when you think about having to be around it or having to endure it?
Give me a beach, and some sand, and a wade pool - but no scuba diving, please! and poor Jason just really wants to go Scuba diving with me... I told him I'd wave happily from the boat as he got to experience it! He also knows that if I was in a car accident that involved a river or lake or something - he should just pray to God to give me a hug from him b/c I'm a goner. Sad but true!
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2 comments:
Well, I didn't know that about you! Good for you for facing your fear (and for exercising in general!). Me, I'm pretty much terrified of flying. I hate it, hate it, hate it. Makes my palms get all sweaty just thinking about it.
You sure fooled me....never would have guessed. I have a fear of heights....I get very, very scared and anxious when I get up really high. It never bothered me much as a kid, but with age I've become more terrified than ever before!
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