- congestive art failure: the inability to find room for one more stick figured drawing of our family on the fridge
- sexczema: the way your skin crawls when your husband tries to cop a feel after you've spent a long day with whiny children
- mallergies: severe aversion to large shopping center after enduring back-to-back school shopping with your moody kid
- damnesia: disorientation at hearing your child use a bad word, until you remember where he heard it first
- mygraine: throbbing headache after spending two-hour-playdate refereeing fights over a single toy in a room full of toys
- hymnsomnia: sleeplessness due to anxiety over how one's offspring will behave in church
- manopause: overwhelming need for a girls' night out following an afternoon of soccer, baseball and karate, followed by football widowhood
- robotomy: abrupt reversal of your upbeat mood after you step on your child's favorite action figure, amputating its limbs
- gastrointerestitis: excessive focus on what your child could've eaten that made him sick
- carpool tunnel syndrome: sensation of spending one's days endlessly shuttling rowdy kids to soccer practice and piano lessons.
hope you don't get too many of these at once!
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